You Are Responsible for What Your Life Is

Where we come from has no bearing on our lives once we reach an age of reason and become conscious of good and evil. Throughout childhood, we experience fear, pain, and the hardships of life. Some suffer hunger, violence, and experiences no human should ever endure. Yet, without needing a university degree or formal academic knowledge, experience alone teaches us what must never be done. I have my own story, and I absolutely refuse to put others through the pain, worry, or suffering I endured in my past. What caused me pain is something I will never inflict upon another.

“What you shun enduring yourself, attempt not to impose on others.”

— Epictetus

We must recognize that those who inflict pain are often enslaved by addictions to material things, drugs, sexual degeneration, and violence. They seek to take by force what they have not earned. They do not wish to serve, learn, or create, nor are they willing to endure the struggle that discipline and responsibility demand. Inflicting pain is the only avenue evil possesses to acquire what is forbidden, destroying lives and society in the process. We must clearly understand that true respect is earned only when others admire your good nature and strength to overcome adversity. The modern world frequently confuses respect with fear. Never wish for others to fear you; fear is imposed by violence, and the moment people have the power to destroy a tyrant, they will. True respect, however, is the merit of the hard worker, the faithful, the protector, and the provider—the one who, above all, respects and follows God. The only justified fear is the fear of God, for He will not allow evil or that which goes against nature to endure. Yet, for those who follow Him, paralyzing fear does not exist. God gave us a spirit of power, love, and self-control, and we are obligated to honor that nature.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

— 2 Timothy 1:7

None of this is to say the path is easy. But as the scriptures state, “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” Many people complain, yet complaining holds zero value. We must examine our desires to ensure they are of a good and righteous nature. People constantly complain about their vehicles, homes, finances, and health—but if you do not put in the work to earn improvements, you have no right to ask for them. It is illogical. Furthermore, if attaining what you desire comes at the expense of others, causing them pain or suffering, you must correct yourself immediately. You cannot lay claim to anything that destroys, corrupts, or inflicts suffering upon your fellow human beings.

“For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: ‘The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.'”

— 2 Thessalonians 3:10

It is deeply concerning to see people endlessly complaining about the government, the weather, the economy, their circumstances, their parents, their spouses, or their poverty. There is only one piece of valid advice for this: accept responsibility and take coherent action. Stop waiting for circumstances to get easier; do yourself a favor and get to work on yourself. Become a person of discipline and value, and rewards will follow by merit. Stop waiting for the world to change. It is you who must change, adopting a hardworking and responsible mentality that allows you to endure the time and processes required for true achievement. Life will not give you what you simply want; it will give you what you deserve and earn. If you want respect and love, you must understand that they have to be earned.

“An ignorant person is inclined to blame others for his own misfortune. To blame oneself is proof of progress. But the wise man never has to blame another or himself.”

— Epictetus

You cannot expect a good life, love, or respect if your daily agenda lacks structure and your calendar is filled with nights of drinking and substance abuse. You cannot earn these things if you participate in hookup culture, maintain fake friendships, finance travel you cannot afford, or chase a vain lifestyle fueled by promiscuity, fast fashion, and irrelevancies. It is incredibly easy to project a falsely successful life using social media filters, AI-generated illusions, and outright lies. The most difficult, yet absolutely necessary, step in life is to step down from that pedestal of denial and irresponsibility. You must accept reality and use whatever is currently in your hands to change your life for the better. Remember, your starting point and current reality matter far less than your good nature, your desire to grow, and your willingness to build a genuine life with the tools available to you. That is real courage. That will move you closer to the life you seek. When people see you walking in reality and answering the call of responsibility, they will begin to respect you. In doing so, you will honor God, honor your parents, and truly honor those you claim to love.

“If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.”

— Marcus Aurelius

Written by: Rhet A. Marini